Back to Blogging

I need to get back to blogging...I don't think I realized how much of a stress reliever it is...I mean I still don't write the same kind of entries as I used to in hard cover journal, but still, it's still a release of some kind.

I often wonder why it is I don't divulge everything that I might in a hard cover journal....it's not like the masses are reading my blog, it's not like those that do read it are out to get me based on my every written word. I guess there's something about being too open, too upfront, too raw sometimes. Or there's something about how others will perceive you after you spend and entire week bitchin' and moaning about something like you might in a private journal.

I think I'm watching to0 much tv or I'm in a mid life crisis, one of the other!!! This weekend I watched "Snapped", "Deadly Women", "Dateline ID" I don't think I need to go on, basically all those crime shows that Big C hates.

Anyway by the time I was done I walked downstairs and asked Big C "How do you think people would describe me if I died?".

I know they wouldn't say "She smiled all the time", and they wouldn't say "She brightened every room she walked in". The definitely wouldn't say I was a bundle of joy either. And it's not that I walk around with a frown all the time, or that I ruin the mood of every room I enter, but rather that those qualities aren't my shining glory, I guess you could say.

I don't really know what people would say about me.

I know what people would say about Big C...they'd say he was a comedian because he's always telling jokes. And I don't mean knock, knock jokes. I mean if you enter the room dressed all in red thinking you look sharp...he'll ask if your electricity got turned off or if you forgot to pay your electric bill or something funny that will have the room in stitches.

The only words that come to mind of how others might describe me would be "organized, anal, perfectionist, literal, and serious!!" All those boring adjectives!! LOL

ORGANIZED: Everyone knows that I believe "everything has a place, and if it doesn't have a place then it probably belongs in the trash".

ANAL: Everyone knows that I probably should have been diagnosed with OCD a LONG time ago....the minute I walk into a room I notice things out of place.

SERIOUS: Big C hates telling me knock, knock jokes as I never get them, never find them funny, or I over analyze them and take them too seriously.

LITERAL: My biggest British flaw is taking things literally. If you say it's under the chair...guess what...I'm looking under the chair! I'm not looking on top of it, or next to it, or over it. All that wishy washy, round the houses, politician talk doesn't work for me. Yes us British don't talk about sex, but we mean what we say and we say what we mean!!! LOL

I asked a friend what do you think people would say about me and her first response was "control freak"! YIKES!!! But I know she said it ONLY (at least I hope) because we had a long discussions once about not wanting to take control of everything up to our "better" halves (and I use that term loosely), we'd arrive at swim class with a swim bag but no bathing suit, we'd go on the vacation of a life time but have no soap, deodorant, shower gel, toothbrush or tooth paste, we'd walk over the same sock left in the middle of the living room for years and not days, we'd never know what it's like to use a can of mushroom soup for dinner and still have another one in the cupboard for spare, and our children would grow up thinking that all bills came printed in BIG RED INK!!!! LOL

So it's not like I want to take control of everything, I'd love to sit back in my hammock with my margarita and watch the clouds make Noddy shapes but it just seems to always fall right into my lap whether I like it or not.

After I was done talking with Big C about what people would say about me, I spent the rest of the day walking in and out of every room smiling a big old smile. It's actually hard to be the person that walks into every room smiling, it takes a lot of energy and hard thinking I'll have you know!

So it left me thinking.....I don't want to change who I am, at least not this late in the game, but I would at least like to do a little better!!! Plus I wouldn't mind being known as that THIN girl!! LOL