I am so glad that it was my husband she told and not me, for I know I would have broken down into tears.
I'm continuing to make sure she looks in the mirror every day and says "I am beautiful".
Some days I forget and I feel so guilty, guilty that one mere day of not reminding her will allow her to sink back into her feelings.
My Amazon cart is full of books on loving yourself no matter the color, and I'm praying it helps.
The child who I believe started Baby C feeling this way is at Day Care for a visit today (she's already in kindergarten but before she left she told Baby C that she couldn't come to her birthday part because she's brown), I got a little fear of dread in me when I saw her walking towards us in the hallway happily coming over to say "Hello".
Baby C seemed generally happy to see her, there seems no love lost between them, only her words seem to linger on.
When I look at her I see such a confident little girl, I want to bolster her confidence so it shines all the time.
The books in my Amazon cart thus far are:
- The Skin You Live In - Michael Tyler
- The Skin I'm In: A First Look at Racism - Pat Thomas
- Bright Eyes, Brown Skin - Cheryl Willis Hudson
- I Love My Hair! - Natasha Anastasia Tarpley
- I Like Myself! - Karen Beaumont
- Whoever You Are (Reading Rainbow Books) - Mem Fox
- We're Different, We're the Same - Bobbi Kates
- The Colors of Us - Karen Katz
- What I Like About Me! - Allia Zobel Nolan
so happens that today i found this book online at amazon:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/Skin-You-Live-Michael-Tyler/dp/0975958003
it's called the skin you live in and it has very good reviews.
I have had this issue in my classroom this year!
ReplyDeleteI recommend the books, The Book of Us, Bright Eyes, Brown Skin, I Like Me! and I Love My Hair. I'll have to check my shelves for any others.
Thought of another: Colors Come From God...Just Like Me!
ReplyDeleteWell, how did dad do? What did he say to Baby C to make her feel better? Also don't be quick to judge another child for upsetting her. It easily could have been a teacher who made some stupid comment that bothered Baby C. I can't believe some of the things I have heard come out of the mouths of "educators".
ReplyDeleteThis entry really shocked me because she's so young to have feelings like this. Some parents raise their children not to see skin colour but to see the people we are and some children are raised to see only colour and judge not by the persons character but by skin colour. I would honestly have no idea what to say to my child if they said that, I'd be stunned. But I certainly like your idea of looking in the mirror and seeing beauty. Unfortunately in the mainstream (esp in England) there are not enough black women for young girls to identify with. But I know you won't have her growing up thinking anything other than black is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteReading your blog was surreal, as this happened to me many moons ago when I was in Kindergarten ... then again to my own son when he was in daycare.
ReplyDeleteAll you can do, is do what you are doing and reinforce to your daughter that she IS BEAUTIFUL.
O this brought tears to my eyes. Gabi and I had a conversation much like this when we went to the pumpkin patch. It had a good outcome. Gabi is six and Drew is only 4. They've both talked about the color of their skin and their heritage already.
ReplyDeleteGabi and Drew's first year in pre school, J and I were invited to have Thanksgiving dinner with their classes. I went to Drew's class and J went to Gabi's. Apparently the question didn't happen when G'pa was there, but when I came into her room after lunch, a little girl looked at Gabi then looked at me and asked, what color is your grandma? Gabi replied, grey. I still smile at that answer.
Wow. Shocking to hear your child or any child, period, make such a statement. I am thinking that since she is a child, and most likely repeating the words of another child, it's nothing to be too concerned over.
ReplyDeleteBut you are handling it the same way I would. I doubt if I'd keep my daughter away from the other child, cause eventually it could be your daughter who teaches the other to learn to love herself.
Hi there...I saw your comment on my blog, sorry I didn't see it sooner. My son at first didn't understand the comments, but he was also hurt because he didn't like being made to feel "different". What I did was first, I surrounded my son with family...and I had the "talk" with him that I prayed I'd never have to have - but knew, raising a black child, I'd have to have. I told him honestly that there were people in this world who would not like him because he was black. That there was no reason for it ... but because he looked different. He was still young, but he was also smart enough to understand that it was wrong. Also, I went to the library and found as many books as I could about african american chldren, black traditions ... and I took him around more family. We live in a predominately white area, and I knew that taking him to where he could connect with more black kids, would help him - cause it helped me when it happened to me. Now he's 12, and he is very confident about himself ... but I listen to him and watch him closely. We can't protect our children from everything, we can only enforce the love and though it seems like only words .... they will draw their strength from those of us that love them.
ReplyDeleteWow Brings back Memories when my kids where younger... My son was playing outside and one of his playmates told him That The black Kids couldn't have Cheetos...its hurt him for about a day...I still remember like it was yesterday...Just Let her know she is Beautiful. I agree with Brown Sugar Babies... Just talk to her about it.
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