Full steam ahead.....then stop!

Sometimes you just know that the day you're about to broach will have it's "highlights" and it's "lowlights!"

I moved slower than a pregnant elephant this morning, legs finally falling out of bed at the time I'm supposed to leave for work, left the house at the time I'm supposed to arrive at work and finally sat at my desk 30 minutes late ONLY to look down and realize that my shoes DIDN'T match my bag!!!

There are just some things in life that, no matter how old you get, how far removed from the teen aged years your age gets, and no matter how much you tried to block out the reverberating sounds of your repetitious parents, will stick with you until you drag them ball and chain to your grave.

• "Make sure you always wear clean underwear, so if you ever get hit by a bus and they have to cut your pants off you, they'll find clean underwear" ~ Thanks mom for your undying concern!
• "Never go to anyone's house empty handed, even if you grab a potted plant before you plop your behind on their doorstep" ~ Do you know how much a good looking vase cost, let along the plant!
• "Never call someone's house before 10 or after 10!" ~ Hmm so in the land of the living and the land of Jon and Kate plus 8 that means I'd never need a calling plan, as no sane mother has free time to call ANYONE during the correct calling hours!

But today the "life lesson" that had me all in a tizzy (when I finally arrived at work late) was....., drum roll please!!!

"Always make sure your bag, shoes and belt match, never find yourself out in public with a brown bag and black shoes!, and if you can't find the matching belt just make sure your shirt isn't tucked in so as to hide it!" ~ uhhhhhhhhhh....

This is how I found myself this morning, grey shiny patent leather shoes (the kind I was NEVER allowed to buy as a child) and a black patent leather purse (I guess the patent purse was a double dig at the past!)

Upon arrival to work I quickly flung aside the purse into a locked filing cabinet hoping to stall the masses from gawking as they passed, whispering and snicking about the obvious poor and uncivilized upbringing that I must of endured as a child if I was capable of wearing "grey patent leather shoes and carrying an obviously unmatched accompanying bag!". Condé Nast, the poor lass, is rolling over in her grave as I type.

P.S. And while I look upon this fashion faux pas, I can once again hear my mother lammenting on the pronounced swelling in my foot and delivering a line of questioning reminiscent of grade school days about whether or not I've consumed the recommended daily allowance of water!!!!

It never ends.....