Do you ever feel like being alone?
I don't mean leaving a spouse or abandoning a family, but just a feeling of not really wanting to talk to people, just being by yourself for a long extended period of time.
The last few days this has been me. I didn't want long extended conversations with anyone, not my husband, and not my co workers.
I tried to just stay still at my desk and not wonder around too much as I'd bump into people and have to hold conversations.
I felt myself being very removed at home, just going through the motions, dinner, bath and bed with the little one, then retiring straight to the bed for me, no tv, no book, just the dark and my thoughts.
I don't really know what was wrong, and I only just feel myself coming out of it. I'm not stressed, not unhappy, no big turn or events in my life.
I'm not sure if it was my "only child" embedded nature rearing it's head, I honestly feel that growing up as a only child, you get so used to being by yourself that you spend the rest of your life trying to adapt to ALWAYS having someone around you. It doesn't always feel natural. I think you have to be an only child to really understand.
Maybe it is a chemical imbalance, or maybe just the whether playing tricks on me as the ice thaws. Who knows, my husband used to joke and say I was bi polar, it doesn't seem so funny anymore.
I used to get the feeling often before I had my little one, but then it was easier to just retreat as I could turn life on and off at my say so. But with a child you simply can't do that.
I truly wish I could have gone away for a few days to a nice bed and breakfast where I could just wake when I felt like it and just sit and do nothing if I so chose.
But life is never that simple unfortunately.
Oh girl, yes I know exactly what you're talking about. I think it is an only child thing for sure. I don't have this happen to me too often within my own family and I think that is because my husband gives me a lot of space. That's just how he is. He's always gone hunting or working on some project or something so I don't often get that feeling here. But with other people? Totally. I can only take so much and then I need to be alone. I can take about 3 days, tops, with a friend and then I just need to break. Or I'll end up saying something I'll regret! I've always been this way, even when I was a kid. It's also why I tend to flake out on going places or events because sometimes I just don't feel like being around other people. So yep. I totally get it. And it IS an only child thing, I'm sure of it.
ReplyDeleteit may be an only child upbringing, i was not an only child but i was the baby of the family and i grew up the only child at home. when i feel the need to escape my home i usually think it's because i am home all day with my kids and i need the peace and quiet haha!
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