Breaking up is hard to do....

One of my friends husbands cheated on her and they're breaking up. I feel so badly for her and there's no way in my mind that they could and should reconcile....not even for the kid. It makes me sad but I'll cherish the memories that we had as a four some with our two kids in tow. Now it will be a different dichotomy it will be just me and her with our two kids in two.

I can't be judgmental at all but I look at her husband in such a different light now. It will be hard for me to smile at him, or even accept whatever new girlfriend comes along into our home. I'll constantly wonder if she was the one.

My other friend is in a trial separation from her husband and she told me the other night that if there were any doubts about how "trial" the separation was those doubts are now gone and she'd tell me why later. Normally I'd love a bit of juicy gossip but it's not like that when it's this close to home. When the "juicy gossip" will affect so many lives....I'm not even eager to know what it is...I just know it's over and that's enough to know.

I didn't know her husband that well, I was just aware that he knew and still knows how to put on that winning smile no matter what's crumbling around him. And it's not that I expected him to walk around in doom and gloom but....I guess I don't know what i wanted him to do.

It's so strange that all of this is happening while Big C is away. It's like a double entendre not really used in the proper sense...but what is that...one word with two interpretations? Well on the one hand it makes Big C and I look like the Cosby show and on the other hand it makes the problems between Big C and I not worth arguing about unless we want the same fait.

What I appreciate the most is with Big C being gone I don't feel guilty having so much girl time with both of these friends. I feel like I'm able to dedicate real listening, advice, arm chair counseling time to both of them. What good it's done I don't know, but I feel that during this time what woman want most is for someone to merely listen, and every once in a while acknowledge their feelings as legitimate. At least that's what I'd want....someone to let me know I wasn't crazy and that my decisions on the rest of my life were sound and reasonable.

After reading Adrienne's blog I really wanted to do a fish fry when Big C got back with both couples but the longer Big C stayed in Buffalo the more fragmented both relationships got. I joked with both women and said by the time Big C gets back we'll be frying fish alone!!

At the end of the day I know I'll be friends with both woman for life and all I can hope for is the best.